When you're grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.

Source: Halili, R.G; Gotiangco, E.G (2018) Journeying through Loss, Grief, Hope, and Recovery. Quezon City, Wingspread Publishing

• Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.

• Looking after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel good physically, you’ll also feel better emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.

• Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person’s life; or get involved in a cause or organization that was important to him or her.

• Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgement. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you're ready.

• Plan ahead for grief “triggers.” Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or life-cycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.

• Get support from others. The other most important factor in healing from grief is having the support of other people. Even if you aren't comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. Sharing your loss makes the burden of grief easier to carry. Whenever the support comes from, accept it and do not grieve alone. Connecting to others will help you heal.

• Draw comfort from your faith. If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you - such as praying, meditating, or going to church - can offer solace. If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.

• Turn to friends and family members. Oftentimes, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need - whether it’s a shoulder to cry on or help with the funeral arrangements. Now it is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Draw loved ones close rather than avoiding them, and accept the assistance that’s offered.

• Join a support group. Grief can feel very ;lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers.

• Talk to a grief counselor or a therapist. If your grief feels like too much to bear, call a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.