Answers to Questions in my Season of Grief
In my season of my grief, there are so many questions I asked God, but ultimately, it boiled down to these four, which are foundational. Going through various losses in my life, in the depths of my brokenness, I had to come to terms with these questions on origin, meaning, morality, and destiny.
● Origin: How did life come to be in the first place? Where did I come from?
● Meaning: What is the purpose of my life? What do I live for?
● Morality: How do I know what is right or wrong? Whose standard do I follow?
● Destiny: What happens to me when I die? Where will I end up?
So where did I look for answers? Google? Facebook? Culture? The answers are not there. I had to go back to basics — going back to what God says in His Word. What does God say about this? It does not matter what the world says because in the end, God has the last say.
What lens do you see life from? How you respond to what’s happening reflects how you view God. There are only two lenses to choose from: either you humbly see God for who He really is or you proudly see God for who you want Him to be, or what others tell you about Him. What is the implication of having the right view of God?
Origin: God is the only true Creator who brought to life all people and things out of nothing.
If I truly believe that God created all of humanity in His image and likeness, I will not look down on people. I will not edge others out to exalt myself. I will value people as God values them. I will joyfully serve as God instructs me to serve. I will cheerfully give as God gives. I will wholeheartedly forgive as God forgives. I will radically love as God loves.
Meaning: God is the only one who designs, knows, and reveals His purpose for us.
If I truly believe that God is the purpose-giver, I will not craft my own purpose to make myself feel good. I will not give in to the lusts of my flesh. I will be intentional to steward everything He entrusts for His glory. I will stand for who I am in Christ and lead others to know Christ.
Morality: God is the only one who has the authority to determine right and wrong.
If I truly believe that God determines what is right and what is wrong, I will not dare to justify that my ways are better than His. I will not be swayed by what the world says. I will be steadfast to follow God’s Word in spite of suffering and pain. I will submit to His order and design amidst opposition and persecution.
Destiny: God is the only one who gives eternal life and secures it for His people.
If I truly believe that God holds my eternal destiny, I will not fear physical death. I will not cling to my earthly life as if it’s mine. I will praise and thank God for saving me by His grace, for regenerating me in my spiritual death. I will use the time I have to graciously share God’s Love and Truth with the least, the last, and the lost.
By God’s grace, I do not need to say “IF I truly believe...” because the Truth is, now there’s no “IF”. When the basic questions are answered, the road to healing becomes clearer because it’s God who’s navigating the way, not me trying to figure out which way to go.
What I truly believe about God, who He is to me, who I am to Him, determines the kind of decisions I make each day. Bill Bright sums it up well: “Everything about our lives [our attitudes, motives, desires, actions, and even our words] is influenced by our view of God.”
If there’s one thing that’s impossible for God to do, it’s to contradict His character. So when God says something, He will surely do it. Only God has the perfect track record. When God said He loves you, He loves you even when you don’t feel it. When God said He forgives you, He forgives you even when you don’t feel worthy of forgiveness. When Jesus Christ said in John 11:25-26 “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in
me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” There is surely something to look forward to — life after death because of what God has done. Only God died on the cross to save us from the penalty of sin, rising again to conquer death and assuring each one who believes in Him the eternal life that we all long for.
Ultimately, the way you grieve will depend on your relationship with God. It’s either you see that the brokenness you go through is a testimony of God's amazing work to revive and restore you in His perfect time or you feel so hopeless because of your unbelief thinking “there’s nothing God can do about his”. Personally knowing God and walking with Him does not mean there will be no pain, suffering, and sorrow. The greatest comfort is in knowing that the God who suffered for you to save you is the same God willing to suffer with you, providing His peace that transcends all understanding in your times of uncertainty.
Lastly, here’s an encouragement from Elisabeth Elliot who suffered much after losing her first husband to murder then her second husband to cancer, but still remained steadfast in God. "The deepest things that I have learned in my own life have come from the deepest suffering. And out of the deepest waters and the hottest fires have come the deepest things that I know about God. I’ve come to see that it’s through the deepest suffering
that God has taught me the deepest lessons. And if we’ll trust Him for it, we can come through to the unshakable assurance that He’s in charge. He has a loving purpose. And He can transform something terrible into something wonderful. Suffering is never for nothing." Truly, your grief is not wasted when you bring it to God and let Him bear it for you.
About the Author: Short Bio
Riva “River” Galveztan, a Christ-driven entrepreneur, is the founder of the Joyful Grieving program. If you have lost a loved one or you know any grieving family who needs assistance to organize meaningful and memorable memorials, check out this link: bit.ly/JoyfulGrieving
My perspective about life and death changed when I started to receive God’s forgiveness, fully and completely. All the more God’s purpose in death became clearer to me when I took His Word more seriously. Everyday is a sobering reminder that my life is not mine. God continues to remind me that I do not own my life. God owns me, so anytime He can take it away. I knew this in my head but it was just head knowledge. The only time it became a true conviction in my heart was when God called me to work with bereaved families.
Truly, our deepest sorrows can be turned into immense joy in His presence. "When we lose what is most dear to us on earth, we value our Heavenly Father’s embrace even more." - Vaneetha Rendall Risner