A death in the family, whether sudden or after a lingering terminal illness, is always a shock and never fails to cause devastating sorrow, confusion, and grief. It can be very emotional and confusing time for all family members, making it difficult for the family to identify what needs to be done and to make intelligent decisions. This is most especially overwhelming for those who are experiencing death in the family for the first time. 

The following is a Funeral Checklist which can serve as basic guidelines for the family in case of a death of a family member:

Step 1: Compose yourself.

Keep Calm. It is okay to cry and mourn but it is also important to try to stay calm and collected and not jump to conclusions.  It can be even more stressful trying to remember everything that must be undertaken if you panic. Keeping your composure during this time may help you and others around you focus on the necessary actions and decisions.

Seek assistance from older relatives, especially those with previous experience in handling memorial service arrangements for family members who passed away. If you have relatives older than you who can assist you, call them first before anything else. This is also an opportunity to comfort one another and discuss important decisions that must be made particularly funeral arrangement details that need immediate decisions. 

Step 2: Call your preferred funeral home or memorial plan company.

    When a loved one dies suddenly without any pre-arranged funeral plans, there are funeral homes that offer affordable memorial service packages but bear in mind to choose the funeral service provider that you are most comfortable with. 

Make sure to consider the following:

• Location: The location of the funeral home must be accessible to the family, visitors and to public transportation. Another factor to consider is if the chapel has available facilities anywhere in the Philippines where you may want to have the wake. If the deceased needs to be transported to the province you may also want to consider a funeral home with a wide network of chapels.

• Cost: This is one major factor to consider especially if the deceased has no memorial plan. You can call several funeral service providers and compare prices. 

• Reputation. It’s best to choose the number 1 funeral service provider which can give your family peace of mind and that can take care of your family’s requests. It is recommended to select a company that has a good and reliable reputation and recognized internationally just like St. Peter Chapels.

Step 3: Secure the important and legal documents.

    Death Certificate. It is the official legal document which provides the necessary information of the death of a person, such as the name of the deceased, the date of birth and the date and cause of death and that the person indeed died due to the specific cause indicated by the hospital or as acknowledged by a physician. This is the most important document you need to secure before the funeral service and burial as this is a requirement of funeral service providers before signing a memorial service contract. The Death Certificate is necessary in order that the death of the deceased will be already registered with the local civil registrar. 

The hospital where the death occurred usually prepares the death certificate. Representatives of the funeral service provider are also able to assist in this regard. They can help register the death certificate at your local civil registrar. It would be advisable that upon registration of the death certificate with the local civil registrar, the relatives obtain extra certified true copies of the death certificate since they might need to present the same to other government offices and organizations.

The Death Certificate is also one of the requirements for the filing of death benefit claims by the deceased person’s beneficiaries with the Social Security System (SSS). The Death Certificate is necessary for transactions involving the bank accounts of the deceased.

Life Plan Documents / Insurances. Life Plans or Pre-Need plans are prepaid memorial services that can be purchased while a person is living. These plans may include insurance benefits. The family of the planholder needs to prepare the signed life plan agreement, planholders identification card and certificate of full payment in case of death. The family may need to check all personal estate documents of the deceased including the last will and testament if any. Life Plans are becoming popular among Filipino families these days due to the advantages of convenience and huge savings. Your deceased loved one might have already bought a life plan. It’s best to check first before making any arrangement with a funeral home to avoid a waste of time, effort and money.

Step 4: Arrange the Funeral

In deciding which type of funeral service to get, here are your options:

You must choose the package that fits your family’s budget or the package that meets the needs of your family. There are two types of funeral service and each type can vary significantly in cost, depending on the funeral service package.

• Traditional funeral - this service usually involves a viewing/visitation, embalming of the body, a formal funeral service with a casket, a hearse transport, and the burial.

• Cremation - The remains are cremated shortly after the individual died, and his or her ashes are placed to an urn, with the option of viewing in a chosen location before interring in a columbarium.

Funeral attire of the deceased. After choosing your funeral service provider and type of funeral, the attire of the deceased should be readied. You can choose to dress the body of your loved one in newly purchased clothes or formal attire or the deceased’s favorite clothes. While many people are buried in formal attire, your family may decide to dress your loved one in any outfit your loved one might have loved, such as a favorite pair of jeans, a special hat, or a beloved piece of jewelry. In deciding the funeral attire, you may also want to consider traditions & religious beliefs.

Wake / Interment details. This pertains to the details or the nitty-gritty of the wake/interment and schedule, such as the following:

• Basic details. Some of the details that you need to determine are: Full name of the deceased, name of spouse and children, open casket or closed, number of expected visitors, viewing room, burial or cremation.

• Viewing details. How long will the viewing be? When will the viewing start? Is there a scheduled date/s? The most common duration of the viewing for St. Peter Life Plan Inc. planholders is 4 days if the wake is in the St. Peter Chapel or up to 9 days if it is outside the chapel. This can be shortened or prolonged depending on various reasons such as the preference of the deceased, family’s wishes, auspicious dates, etc.

• Flower arrangements. Some funeral homes have their own personal florist. The family can have the flowers arranged according to their liking or as wished by the deceased.

• Food arrangements. The family would also need to consider the food or snacks for the visitors. As guests come and go, it is essential to treat them to a snack or meal for their visit. Catering can be an option especially on the last night of the wake when most guests visit.

• Interment. One of the important factors in deciding the date of interment of the deceased is the availability of the family members. There may be times when the family of the deceased is waiting for other family members or relatives to come home from abroad before scheduling the burial.

• Place of burial. The location of the cemetery is usually decided on based on its accessibility to the family. Sometimes, the deceased has already chosen where he or she will be buried by means of getting a prepaid memorial lot from memorial park companies.

• Honoring & Tribute. The last night of viewing is a very special night for the family. It is the last night to honor the memory of their loved one. Usually, for Catholics, the family requests a priest to bless the deceased or conduct a holy mass. The funeral home sometimes offers free tributes for the family wherein the funeral home representative gives their final prayer and memorializes the deceased by presenting a video tribute showing the pictures of their beloved and offering flowers. Activities like these should be conducted according to how you want to remember the last night of your beloved before the interment.

These guidelines can help your family plan during this crucial time of need. Not everyone has the luxury to be able to know what to do during this kind of event. Death is inevitable but we can arm ourselves with this knowledge to be ready for all unexpected circumstances. Choose to be prepared.